You are sacrificing your future

I received this email today from a faculty member:

> Hi ...,

>

> ... has told me that you have decided to withdraw from our PhD 

> program.  I am very sorry to hear this and I am writing to see if I 

> can change your mind.  You are a bright and talented young person.  

> You are so close to finishing and I would be disappointed if you did 

> not to receive acknowledgment and your doctorate degree for the work 

> you have performed over the past 4 years.  I would like you to think 

> carefully about if you really want to end your chance of being Dr. 

> ... and the future possibilities that this degree would bring for 

> you.  You already have a thesis drafted so all that is left is 

> defending.  I know you are frustrated and angry with your situation 

> but I would hate for you to sacrifice your future.  I will be around 

> on Monday and Tuesday afternoon next week if you would like to meet 

> and talk.

>

> Warm regards,

> ...

That's what I wanted to answer

Hi ...,

Thank you for your message.
I'm not the one you need to talk to and convince to act differently. My position and demands on my "situation" are clear and the department and the university have chosen to treat me like dirt. I was scientifically raped and they decided to watch me being raped over and over again and not interfere. What you are asking me know is to keep the child. No! Thank you. I'm not interested.

The department doesn't even have the courage to apologize to me. I don't want to be part of a department who tolerates what has happened to us. It is indeed a shame to be part of that department and I choose not to. It is a fucking big shame for me to be part of a group that tolerates student abuse and chooses to be silent about it.

Leaving Rice does not in anyway mean that there will be no chance for me to become a doctor. Do you really think you are the only university with a graduate program? I already AM a doctor; more qualified than many others, more qualified than some of the seminar speakers. I didn't sacrifice my future. Maybe you should ask yourself who did and then you will understand my decision. Can you imagine the opportunities that leaving this hell will bring me? Maybe you should try. I can imagine infinitely many future possibilities. The earth is so big!

I know my capabilities; I prefer to keep my dignity than to have a doctorate. I prefer to choose my affiliation based on what is important to me and not how cool two letters before my name would sound. I take my future in my own hands. Sorry, Rice lost the game. It is over.


But I never did. I don't respect that department enough to talk to them about how I think about them.